Often you see people take to booze or other media of intoxication because they like the ‘hit’ and just can’t live without the hangover. I really don't know if these guys are really knuckleheads or just need to go by fad. And seeing many of their ‘cool’ pals taking this ‘High’-way to hell, many of you ‘Sober-yet-to-be-Homer’ (You should see how people act when they are high to know it) would want to experience it all.
But people hardly want to take notice of the ill-effects that generally have to go with all that eccentric-ating rendezvous. People proudly introduce me to drinkers and commend him with appraisals like ‘yeh toh tanki hai’ or ‘ Iske andhar daru ka gutter hai’ and other derogatory remarks without actually looking into the effects on the organs, which gradually would turn into a gutter. If you want are one of those ‘hay-way’ fellas or just a devout ‘bhakt of Shiva (lets just call them hiway people. PS: no way referring to @hiway on twitter btw)), you hardly take note of the fact that this is the same grass grown on sides of tracks normally lined up with people going to relieve their morning bowels and bladders, and finally dipped in naphthalene (this info was given to me by a hiway) to produce the ‘desired’ effects. But who cares man. They want to be just wanna be cool. And besides why should I be the one sounding like your mom! It’s not me doing it anyways.
So for all you wannabe’s I may have found, by pure serendipity, ways for you to hit new highs. I don’t know if the feeling is same (I have no way for me to validate the feelings myself), but general prescience of it may be like is pretty close. Some of these advances have been made by assistance of hiwayers so be sure of its authenticity. Lets discuss the finding.
This is fairly simple way to get that kick. All you need is a small room and you (See how cheap that is!!). So stand up. Start going round and round, like you used to when you were kids, and keep increasing the revolutions to as fast as you can. Ideally you would want another person to keep you on track (and from banging your head and self around the room), but constant practice would gradually make you master the trade. After whirling around for close to a minute or so, stop and try standing straight. Well that is probably as strong a ‘hit’ that you’ll get. And its even more fun when you keep doing this continuously for about 3 or 4 times. And if you are of the puke-ish kind be sure of the affirmative results out of this. I am sure 15 mins of this should be enough for you to spend the next 60 minutes atleast in the bathroom.
What are the advantages:
- 1) Its Cheap!!!! (No pun intended) The amount spent here is nothing. Its just you and your room .
- 2) You can do it while your parents are home or even outside(if you have a merry-go-round then nothing like it) without raising any doubts or suspicion. Well yeah they would suspect you have gone nuts, but then if you are trying any of this that doesn’t really need any elucidating.
- 3) You can easily pass any kind of blood tests.
- 4) You still get that puke!
- 5) No effects on any organs.
- 6) Perfectly healthy for any bystanders. (Also might serve as entertainment for them --> which means they’ll laugh --> which means their circulation increases à they’ll be healthy. You are actually helping them here!)
- 7) You doo get a mild-hangover after this. Actually on the number of times you did our lil exercise.
- 8) It’s a good workout!
However, like any other thing it does have its own cons:
- 1) You have to have a room. Or atleast a free space diameter of 2m. And that’s hard to come by these days with all the congestion.
- 2) You’ll be called nuts by people who don’t know what it is to be cool. But who cares about them!
- 3) You may bump into some ill-tempered people while doing this. But that’s not all that bad. You might as well get an hit out of it.
- 4) Lets keep the cons to less than pros. Otherwise who’ll buy this.
Now that we have settled the issue of reaching heights of insanity, lets move on to the aftermath. Hangover. You pay so much for it. So here is another techniques which could save you thousands.
I should warn you however. This handover business is a lil more expensive than our first part. If you want to stay afloat, please practice and perfect the aforementioned technique.
For this you’ll need: a computer (or any darn thing that’ll keep you awake all night), a big bowl of rice, an bottle of hair oil and an alarm clock.
The procedure is simple. Using your computer you need to stay up till late. Next morning wake up as early as you can. For some this may be sufficient to get an hangover, but not all may be so lucky. After you wake up have a hair message using the oil (Note that oil is pretty important here). For lunch you need to have that big bowl of rise. You may start to feel a lil soporific, but please take to your computer again till you are almost dead sleepy. Once you reach this, set your alarm to about half an hour from now and got to sleep. And make sure that you keep your alarm at a safe distance from you. Ideally one should sleep in an air conditioned room, but not all are so fortunate to have them at home. Wake up when the alarm rings and voila you have your hangover. And be sure this is as strong an hangover as it gets!
This procedure maybe tweaked here and there. But you essentially need a hair oil massage and a bowl of rice for this to work successfully. Including physical exertion the previous day just adds to the effectiveness. And the head-ache so typical of hangovers is probably strongest by this. Also it is recommended that you stay away from caffeine to truly experience this.
